Bob wanted more Ground qualities, i.e., decisive and powerful and less Water qualities, i.e., giving in, afraid and hesitant.  He is a coaching professional with years of study and being coached.

Talking revealed that although he wants less Water, this is also the home of his greatest strengths, especially empathy and caring. 

This family of qualities also includes flexibility, adaptability, resilience, being a good team player and being a responsive listener.

By the way he spoke of not liking how he gave in and how difficult it sometimes was to move forward without hesitation, I suspected that he was dealing with the incomplete Water response, a.k.a., difficulties with resilience.

Before we began the session, I asked him to be by his computer with his internet browser open.  Using a chat program, I sent him a link for our module on resilience.  About one minute into the movie, before we got to the exercise, there were a series of slides showing the natural movement of Water: bending and then unbending.

And then, what happens when we adapt without recovering.

Seeing this image crystallized our conversation as he said, yes, this is what I experience; this is what I want to change.  The words by themselves were not enough to convey the meaning.

With this visceral clarity, he explored the rest of the movie after the session and then another related movie I sent him about the movement of disillusionment. 

Later that day he emailed to tell me that he now had a new way to make sense of his difficult childhood.  He saw how his old reactions and choices had been in his way.

As he learns to draw out and strengthen his natural resilience, he will be able to catch these old habits early enough for his heart to bounce back and his spirits to stay high.