Livia was a businesswoman with a strong Water nature, that is, it was natural for her to listen, feel, and adapt.  She wanted to find a better way to handle her relationship with an aggressive, “in your face”, colleague.

In response to strong Wind-Fire-Ground expression, Water tends to step back to let the encounter unfold and then return when the “tirade” is over. 

However, in business, you often cannot afford to look like you are giving in.  This non-verbal “martial” event, unrecognized, can easily turn into a well-believed story that you have low self-esteem and a problem with confidence.  She declared that she wanted to develop more self-assured confidence.

We met on Skype with our webcams on.  Because confidence means so many different things to different people, I first sent her the link to one of our online Learnware modules for cultivating a warrior’s type of self-assurance, “Yes, I am ready!”

This subtle practice is based upon a variation of our basic Centered Presence practice.  Our research has consistently demonstrated that the order in which you remember your “parts” generates a different center of gravity along with its particular experiential tone and behavioral tendencies.

                 

As I watched, she played the movie.  She literally pulled away from the screen and had a difficult time framing her response in words.  It was very obvious that this kind of self-confidence was “too strong” for her.  She wanted something a bit softer.

As a contrast, I sent her the link for “Yes, I feel wonderful.”   

  

Then you fill your chest and throat to say “yes.”  

And finally you let the breath fill you from your chest to your head to say, Yes, I feel wonderful.”

Watching her, I could see her spirit lighten and her face shine as she went through the exercise.  She liked the feeling but it felt too light, that is, not appropriate to business.

So I tailored the practice for her. 

I asked her to first find her legs and feet and to let her breath change to fit this. 

Then I asked her to maintain the “heaviness” of legs and feet as she watched the movie.   This added a touch of Ground solidity.

She reported that this feeling was just what she was looking for.  And I could tell from watching her through the camera.